‘Lollipop’ Sucks

Lollipop, Lil WaynePopdose visits this week’s Billboard Top 10, and at the top of the charts is a “song” by Lil’ Wayne featuring Static Major called “Lollipop.” The link above will take you to the article, which features a YouTube video of the “song,” but listen to it at your own risk. It made my ears bleed. Honest.

The “song” features four notes of annoying, ascending electronic beeps played incessantly; after about four measures of hearing this, the bleeding begins. That’s even before Lil’ Wayne starts to “sing,” his voice totally transformed by the Great Satan that is Auto-Tune. (Yeah, you’ve heard it – it’s an audio processor that corrects pitch and covers mistakes in vocals and instrumentals. It sounds like a computer has taken over someone’s voice – listen to Cher’s ‘Believe.”)

Well, Lil’ Wayne must be tone deaf, because you can hardly tell where his voice starts and where the Auto-Tune takes over. I guess I should applaud him for attempting to sing, for most hip-hop forgoes this lost art.

Go ahead. Listen if you want. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. But find it yourself. I’m not going to link to it.

(Hey, get my title? “Lollipop” sucks? Get it?? Ha!… You know…like sucking on a loll – Oh, never mind.)

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Peter Lee